i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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