Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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