i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
