i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
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Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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