he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
