we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
