let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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