She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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