absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
