discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
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