Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
