Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
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dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
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I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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