I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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