If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
