The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize