My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
i think im in europe. pls send help
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
