Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize