i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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