Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Randomize
