I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
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She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
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No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
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