Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
