They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
