You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Randomize
