Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
