He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
