plz talk dirty to me
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
