This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize