i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
