I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
