We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize