so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
