Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
