C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize