Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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