my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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