I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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