i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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