The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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