I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
