my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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