Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
These 19 People Had Awkward Celebrity Sex Dreams
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing