I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo