Tell her she can't have a vagina
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
