U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
