Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
