I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'm at about main and main street
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Randomize
