I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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