Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Panties = found
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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