every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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