Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I will pee on everything he values.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
