I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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