I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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