He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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