I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize