Having a random hookup so left but love u
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
