i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You ruined the universe
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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