his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
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I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
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She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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