I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
