Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
